Saturday, 13 May 2017

Mr Right? But not right now.

What do you do, after finding yourself single again, you think you could have found someone you could really be happy with but the timings not right?

Well for me I thought I had.  So I tried to go with it and at first I was happy with the situation and we met whenever we could.  I would have liked our time together to be more but knew there would be light at the end of the tunnel.  But then I really started to fall for him and when you fall for someone it feels empty when they aren’t with you.  Then with my feelings getting deeper I was finding the situation harder and harder to handle.

So after weeks of trying to figure out a way to tell him how I felt, I did it and I felt sick and guilty as soon as I had.  But I also couldn’t carry on with the sadness and days and nights when I just cried.  So it was hard and I tried to let him down gently, not really wanting us to break up but somehow I think that’s the way it ended up.  He was really hurt and said he understood but I think for him it was best to end it.  And I totally understand.

So now I need to move on.  I will never forget those months of that person being a part of my life and I have such fond and wonderful memories.   Even though it is sad that it has come to an end and there couldn’t have been more.  The hopeless romantic in me is just hoping that little bit that when the timing is right he gives me a call and who knows, from small acorns……..

But for now I need to pick myself up and see what’s out there for me, but those months will stay with me forever.  I may find someone else who will make my life happy and that is what I have always wanted.  So I have no idea what the future holds.  I hope we both find happiness even if that can’t be with each other.